Attracting Your Perfect Match
The taxi man who took me to the
airport had his car radio tuned to Kiss FM, of all the songs that were played,
it was White Flag by Dido that got my attention and this song kept on
playing in my head as I was lost in thought when I remembered Tunde (Not his
real name) promised his wife he was going to take her out when he returns.
I actually thought I had outgrown
the sanguine choice of music as I now have more control of myself, choices, and
my judgments seem to be sound these days in making more choices to reduce my
frequent mistakes.
I flew few days after the crash. Trust
you’ll be interested in what I was going for? Was it worth it? Coupled with the
fact that my 7:45pm flight was eventually cancelled and I had to stay back at
the airport to be able to meet up with the 7am flight. I just felt it didn’t
make any sense going back home at 11pm and having to start rushing back to the
airport the next morning. I had told my
wife, then fiancée, I will be seeing her that night. We were supposed to spend
the night together in the pastor’s house cos the night was supposed to be
dedicated for our marriage counselling but I ended up spending it with a few
other people who we were supposed to board together.
Looking at the face of my fiancée
the next morning, wrinkles gradually disappeared with a sigh of relief and a
smile. At that point I passed the final test; there were no more doubts even on
the pastor’s mind as he actually did soft pedal on the routine. I could read
his mind saying “if this young man could
take the risk to fly when Dana crash is still very fresh, his intention should
not be doubted”. It didn’t stop just at that, I could also hear it from his
eyes saying; some would have said, “Dear,
I think we should postpone the wedding until the air becomes fresh and the sky
becomes blue again.”
When I think about it now, the
importunate questions are, what was I thinking? What actually motivated me,
even when family members called or advised the date should be postponed? We did
postpone twice but I discovered people can never have a better time for you,
most especially in spiritual things like marriage. Marriage makes a whole lot
of difference in destiny, it can either take you to glory or yank you down;
sure you can readily comprehend this if you are married. People have shed more
tears than you can ever make-up just because they took this step. How do two
people go from “I can’t do without you to I regret ever meeting you” even
within a short period? My wedding was a low budget wedding compared to some
that; reception in International Conference Centre, Eko Hotel or Thisday Dome,
honeymoon in Dubai or Hawaii in Mauna Lani Bay Hotel & Bungalows. I have
heard couples fighting and tearing their clothes even on their wedding night.
Some cheat on each other without even blinking. Some even cannot trust each
other with things as minute as their ATM pin; “she must not know how much i
earn”, “my husband is the head, so he must provide for everything, my salary is
for me and me alone”. They are only one when it comes to sex but two in other
things. This is like spending so much money to buy sorrows
On a Sunday, during one of the Sunday
school classes, my pastor asked some couples this question, why
did you get married? The responses were; for companionship, support, help...but
the truth is, even though we get married for these things, sometimes, when
situations succeed in taking God out of the equations, work Mondays to Fridays,
PGD or Masters’ classes weekends, companionship can be found in others, help,
support, even warmth can be got from anyone around at that time. Situations
like these are usually christened Mistakes. You might not want to face
this truth, man’s desires are voracious, pastors alike and you can readily link
this to the discouraging news we keep hearing. However, “Let him that think he stand take heed” (1st Cor. 12:12).
We can only constantly curb the
desires of emotion cos wrong or misplaced priorities will always produce
confusion, confusion will always produce mistakes and mistakes most times
produces consequences one will behold all the days of one’s life; a child outside wedlock will forever remain a
child outside wedlock.
I desired to get married earlier
than when I eventually did. If I did, I probably would have made a mess of it
coz I still was unbroken, selfish; me, you have to align with my insecurities
to take your decisions even though I thought I was so so caring. Above all, I
would have married the wrong woman. When God saw I was ready, He blessed me
with treasures, virtues, submission, favour, wisdom in bodily form. Sometimes,
instead of dying to fix a broken relationship, you can as well take your eyes
off the one that fails to see the good in you and focus on the One (God) that
created you. Only at that point will you be saying; “I need your help God”. He in
turn steps in with your perfect match.
At the point God decided to bless
me, He singled me out in the presence of family members and a few other people,
asking me to walk majestically before Him, wiped my tears and asked me to start
again. Marriage is sweet if God is your foundation. I love my wife and son and
have continuously refused to cheat on her; for every compromise, you lose
something significant spiritually but because most have thrown away their
spiritual mind, they tend to allow more compromise. I got married for destiny;
my eyes are on the promise.
You don’t really have to take my advice but if
you mull over it; righteousness actually pays, purity really attracts God,
faithfulness comes with blessings, commitment introduces favours, and sacrifice
will take you to glory.
You don’t have to give up on the
one you claim to love even when the future is bleak. You can plan your wedding
but you can’t plan your marriage, it’s a lifelong commitment. For those that
are wise, they know their beauty, fame, money, and packaging can’t keep it,
only God can. Make Him your foundation. If marriage was about beauty,
celebrities won’t consider divorce.
Above all , you can rebuild, no
matter where you have missed it.
I love you but the Lord loves you
more than I do.
Buf Akpan
For SPEAP Family.
