He Spoke To Me through Grace
I had asked my wife if I could
take her to the hospital that morning because the contraction increased and was
more frequent, but she said she'll be fine only for her to call me later with
her funny words "it paining me ooo" that is, i
can no longer bear it. I thought about going back home to pick her but didn't
know how many cm she was, thank God my pastor lives very close and it happened
he was at home.
Anyways, as soon as i got to the healthcare
facility to meet them, having fumbled I will be by her holding her hands as she
pushes and bring forth our Olamilekan, my baby was handed over to me. I didn't
know what to say as I went down on my knees thanking God, He took care of it,
in 20 minutes she was out of the delivery room.
How awesome can God be, how awesome can it get?
The truth, we had wished him away
in December 2014 when his brother was barely 7 months, I cried and shed tears;
my wife cried several times and never stopped thinking about it as a mistake
even though I tried encouraging her.
She thought she had malaria when
the symptoms persisted and been a Nurse, we knew how to get the answer to the
question her state begged. She sometimes woke up in the middle of the night to
look at Zion and how little he was, then start crying.
We thought about what people will
say, how we will cope with two children at this stage of our lives. I said to
myself; “how can this happen to you with your level of education, in 2015 not
1970ties, in a dispensation like this and with your health insurance policy.
You allowed this, Uduak accept the fact that you are just a fool”
I went out every day with the anointing oil of
guilt flowing down from my head to the soles of my shoes. My mind was filled up
with junks I opened the doors to. I was almost blown away with shame.
I forgot about the fact that,
just about four month after Zion was delivered, I had a vision we should
christen our second child Grace, male or female. Our plan and prayer was for a
female child, and we wanted her to come when we get to SPEAP head quarters
sometimes in 2016. We had it planned out without considering or seeking after
God's short term plan for our lives and destiny.
It was a hard time for me, it was
a hard time for us...we struggled to accept the pregnancy; I even prayed that
the symptoms were not signs of pregnancy. Abortion was not an option; we were
very clear with that.
Can you beat that? I prayed him away...
The irony of the situation is
that, now I can't even comprehend how much I love this guy, I love spending
time with him. It’s different being with him, it’s different being with them;
He's so surrounded with favour, he's always overtaking and always comes first
everywhere we go.
Someday soon he'll read this and realize I was wrong to have
ever wished him away.
There are times we get into
situations like ours but the first thought that comes to mind is abortion. Some
couple live in condemnation for the rest of their lives after wishing or
throwing a child away.
It’s like been a light in the
dark and refusing to shine.
Many of us have been made kings
but are ruled by servants; the environmental expectations and standards, what
will people say is usually the first thing we care about without considering digging
a big hole in our conscience in the process. Hole we might not be able to fill
up even when we receive the gift of salvation. What if I was aborted?
These little, fragile, helpless and adorable guys deserve to live and need you to give them the
opportunity to fulfill why God sent them to the world through you. It is recorded Lagos State Government have been able to rescue over 62 children this year alone.
Why will a mother throw away the precious gift she carried for nine month, not nine days, considering the pains she endured within this period?
The conclusion of the matter; it might be too early to wind
up a situation because you can never hear from God when you are thinking
abortion, a lot of people might not agree with this but God does not make
mistake.
God sent him to us and until we accepted him, the struggles and guilt never left. We didn't experience the breakthrough
we are having now. You can’t receive or enjoy God’s overwhelming provision
until you step into the beauty of His marvelous grace by taking out your plan,
reasoning and understanding in the equation.
Proverbs 3: 5-6: 5 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart;
and lean not unto thine own understanding. 6 In all thy ways acknowledge
him, and he shall direct thy paths. 7
¶Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the Lord, and depart from evil
Stop thinking you are
smart enough to help yourself.
Just hold unto God, children are His heritage, no matter how
and when they decide to come.
To those living in guilt, my
story is just one of many that have survived periods like this; you can too if
you accept God’s provision for escape from guilt and regrets: Jesus Christ has
already paid with His blood. He’s waiting for you to cry out for help.
Remember your story can help
someone out, so share.
My name is Buf Akpan and I love
you.
